Mindfulness Exercise for Stressful Moments
I was introduced to dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) when I went back to therapy in 2015. I had started having panic attacks again after several years without them; the stresses of grad school and living in a new city got the better of me and I knew I needed help. DBT is particularly good for people with suicidal thoughts and those who want to learn how to regulate their emotions. The therapy takes place in several skills-building modules, aided by a series of exercises. I got myself a cute pink and gold binder to hold all of my homework and to get myself excited about doing the work.
In my first few appointments my therapist Laura Grant (who I cannot recommend enough) introduced the DBT concepts and asked me to journal about how different events throughout my life had made me feel. One of my favorite exercises was this Identifying Emotions exercise. As someone who grew up without any support or validation around my own feelings, and who was a parentified child, I was not familiar with my own feelings most of the time. The diagram below helped me clarify my feelings, rather than being lost because there are too many to contend with, or absorbing the feelings or people around me.
The ABC worksheet can be used to process a specific event, or to process stuck points. A stuck point is a recurrent thought or psychological rut. For example, if every time someone made a typo in an email they think ‘I’m such an idiot! I’ll never get anything right’, it’s damaging to their self esteem, but it also uses never ever statements. These types of statements can be really difficult to overcome, and can limit a person’s belief in their ability to shift and change. This is a stuck point because it is keeping that person stuck within a cycle or loop of damaging thought.
There are five parts to the ABC worksheet, and the image below presents an example of how it can be used:
Activating event: The event that triggers an emotional reaction.
Belief/Stuck point: The self-talk or thoughts triggered by the activating event. Sometimes the belief or stuck point can be similar for several activating events.
Consequence: One or two feelings from the diagram.
Is the belief or stuck point realistic?: This is an opportunity to reflect on the ways we talk to ourselves, and what our initial reactions to triggering events.
What can you tell yourself in the future? This is an opportunity to rewrite personal scripts and find healthier ways to engage with difficult situations in the future.
I have dozens and dozens of these worksheets stacked in a binder because I was so drawn to the process of reframing the way I speak to myself. This exercise was the most effective in moving me beyond my stuck points and into a state of mindfulness. This exercise also reinforces the concept that we cannot control other people, we can only control our reactions.
I hope this is helpful!
